I personally don’t really believe in New Year’s resolutions. I was totally awesome last year and I plan on being completely awesome this year. Studies show only 8% of Americans actually accomplish their resolution goals anyway.
There is a running joke at my yoga studio about getting to classes early in January because of all the resolutionists. I always go early anyway because I’m obsessively finicky about “my spot” (rear right corner). I will get there 20 minutes before class starts, IDGAF. So I’m the first person there on Saturday, and slowly the studio fills up. Hipsters in tight stretchy clothing keep coming in. It’s more crowded than a free pants day at Lululemon. Some ginger-bearded dude with a confused look on his face is shaking and sweating through vinyasas. The hausfrau in front of me falls over during tree pose like she’s been felled by a lumberjack in ladies’ underwear. A beefy broham snores loudly during the ending Savasana meditation, as a thick rivulet of his sweat seeps into the corner of my kind-of-expensive prissy yoga towel.
I want to let you people know that it’s ok. Don’t be so hard on yourselves. Yoga is tough - but a lot of times, the hardest part is just showing up to class. Maybe you should ditch your “IMMA GO TO YOGA CLASS EVERYDAY DAMN IT” resolution and just focus on breathing and enjoying the process. Be kind to yourself. Maybe that resolution is actually giving you nothing but stress and anxiety. In the words of Socrates, “f*&k it.”
And I’m not just telling you this because January 17 is National Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day. I really do want you to improve your mental health by eliminating needless self-torture. You probably deserve a treat! Or a cheat. Thankfully, Datz restaurant in Tampa is there for you with the 2nd Annual National Cheat Day at Datz on January 26th! On this day you are encouraged to take to the net, posting photos of your cheat worthy foods with the hashtag #NationalCheatDay.
I’m currently clutching a $25 gift card to Datz that a very nice lady gave me for Christmas. Datz opened on January 28 in 2009 and is known for its "stunt foods" like the Cheesy Todd (a burger with fried jalapeño mac n' cheese “buns"), and more. Datz is your "cheat day destination since 2009". Seriously, their brunch menu is giving me the heavy salivation and the hungry swallows. Holy crap, they have a chicken and waffle eggs benedict and Crème brûlée French toast! Shut the front door!
Datz is also nationally known for their stupendous Bloody Marys, featuring candied bacon and house pickled goodness. Supposedly created in 1921 at the famous Harry’s New York Bar in Paris, legends claim that the Bloody Mary was the favorite morning after drink of Ernest Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald. I fervently believe in the restorative power of a good Bloody Mary, whether you’re feeling hungover or not. You’ve got your heavy, nutritious vegetable base to settle the stomach, a good dose of salt to replace electrolytes and good quality vodka to help with any head or body aches (don’t you dare put cheapo booze in here, I promise you’ll regret it). Add celery, pickles, bacon, horseradish, grilled shrimp, a whole fried chicken, and a Cuban sandwich, and you’ve got not just a tasty cocktail but a filling meal as well.
Why don’t you go to yoga class and THEN have a Bloody Mary at Datz? Now that’s a resolution I can fully support, any day of the year!
