The notorious “butt tap”, “ass smack”, or whatever you like to call it, has been prominent in football and is spreading to several other sports.  Someone makes a good play, they get picked up off the ground and their teammate slaps their ass.  When a substitute comes in, they tap the player they are replacing on their ass.  Everybody in football does it; coaches, players, referees, even “water boys”. 

Now you can see players and coaches tap butts in other sports as well like soccer (or futbol), baseball, basketball, and many other sports.  Here are some sports we don’t want to see the “ass smack” spread too:

  • Golf – It wouldn’t look right for someone to walk 200 yards to slap a player for a good shot.  By the way, this is supposed to be a quiet sport and one loud “ass slap” can create problems.
  • Swimming – Sorry to put the picture in your mind but we don’t want to see two guys in Speedos exchanging “ass taps”.
  • Nascar – This would not be a good ending after seeing the winner get out of their car they just did victory doughnuts in.  Plus, their butts are probably numb from sitting for hours.
  • Fishing – An unexpected “ass slap” might cause someone to be overboard.
  • Biking – What would you think of the person who stares at Lance Armstrong’s butt for days riding behind him in the Tour De France then slaps it when the race is over?         

Here are some sports and places we would like to see the “butt slap” have more presence:

  • Cheerleading – If football players are doing in, why are the cheerleaders not doing it?
  • College Classroom – What better way to congratulate your sexy classmate on their project?
  • Dance Floor – If you see someone dancing with the best moves, what better way to say “Great Job” then to give them a “butt smack” and a drink?
  • Reality TV Shows – This could be dangerous as you see how fast the “Fist Pumping” has spread but if you didn’t get voted off Survivor, why would you not deserve an “ass slap”?
  • Curling – This is a sport the “butt tap” can spread to and nobody would notice or care so why not have it be a part of this sport.

With the spread of the “butt smack”, we ask “What if the “ass tap” was used in your office or workplace?”  Here are some of our thoughts:

  • Employees will be more productive as they will want to remain in their chairs so their coworkers can’t tap their ass. 
  • Clothing with shoulder pads may come back from the 80’s and new pants with butt pads may hit the market.
  • Sexual Harassment lawsuits may decrease.
  • There will be more praise in the office which will motivate employees to achieve their goals.
  • Coworker marriages may increase.
  • Gay men will feel happier at work as they can slap the butt of their male counterparts without anyone talking about it.

The “butt tap” which seemed to be big in football has been spreading to many other sports.  There are some places and sports where the “ass smack” can be accepted and there are others where it is unacceptable.  What are your thoughts?  Where would you like to see the “butt slap” spread or not spread?  What would your office be like if it adapted the “butt tap”?